Skeletons In The Closet

I have not had occasion to visit the Witch since I don't know when, let's say a very long time, 20 yrs maybe, so this isn't a first hand account.
Friends report there is a wardrobe in her guest quarters.
She leads guests into the guest room, upto the wardrobe, and while chitchatting about the rising cost of vegetables, she "accidentally" unlatches the door and surreptitiously pushes a door until it swings past her guests, and they are shown 4 hanging bath robes, that say in large golden letters, "JON", "PIMP", "PROSTITUTE", "JAIL BAIT".
She looks at you with a naughty smile and says "Sor-ry" as she quickly shuts the door.
She's coy the first two times you ask her about it.

If you smile, she'll hand you a robe, or two, and a brochure.
She won't tell you of course that there is a hidden camera in the room.
And if you were to walk around to the backyard, she has a sprawling vegetable garden where several maids plant and water and weed and harvest.
She'll point each one out to you and tell you which one is in menses, who is suffering from morning sickness, who just started working here and if she is untouched.
                                                                                                                                 - SDG