Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Lonliness And The Ascent Of The Witch

The tribal chief witch is clever you may say.
She is not one to invent a mathematical formula or write a saga or build a Taj Mahal.
Her cleverness belongs in the realm of basic survival.
She was born to demonstrate to the tribe how the rugged individual achieves survival followed by dominance in any social setting using any means whatsoever. 
She, in her sadistic mind, hit upon a "live and let die" approach to social success.
She knows the power of social sanction, stigma, and isolation. Any one who threatens her place as number 1 , or even a number 15, gets tripped up, labeled as an outcast, cast out of the tribe, and isolated. That which happens to any one who is isolated from their tribe - a Simba (this is heavy on Disney references so please bear with me), a Sleeping Beauty, a Rapunzel, a Hercules, a Pinocchio - happens to them.
Their lives get threatened by other witches, hyenas, thugs, mythic monsters, circus talent scouts, and such.
While they struggle, and are often killed, she doles out opiates to those who remain by her side.
Opiates are the key to her success.
The opiate is often a job, a promotion, social status as crony of chief, money, power, or sex sanctioned by neither society nor religion.
                                                                                           - SDG

Tribal Chief

For a tribe that wears flashy colors and shells and beads and bones and shiny metals by the kilogramme, the witch, even while being a tribal chief, is as simply dressed as a new age lesbian.
However, she is admirable for many reasons.
Born into a patriarchal tribe, she was favored by the elders, especially her in-laws, to be their chief, while her husband still lives.
Her husband now has a unique place in the history of their village.
He is their first first consort.
There is no headdress nor necklace to identify him as such, so the witch designed an ornament just for him.
She got the goldsmith to create a chain with two flint stones as dangling pendants symbolizing male fertility and in a grand ceremony involving the entire village, tied the chain around his nether regions so as he walks the rocks rub against each other and create a spark at random intervals, generating random consequences.
After setting his lungi and short hairs on fire a few times the first first consort gave up wearing any clothing at all.
No one has yet told him the emperor has no clothes on.                                                                                     - SDG                                                                                           

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Boxed In

A witch never allows another to receive or to give or to experience happiness, or encouragement, or love, or knowledge, or truth, or justice, or peace, or completeness, or the hope of any of them, because it undermines her power over the poor miserable creature. 
There's always karma, however, that plays a role in the proceedings, so don't be sad, don't be fearful. 

                                                                          - SDG

Friday, May 24, 2013

Just Heard A Treatise On Trauma By The Witch

If you can get a witch to explain to you how trauma affects a person, take notes. Study her perspective on trauma. You'll realize she knows exactly what she is doing to those she hurts.

I used to think erroneously she was clueless about her sadistic tendencies.

It is her art form, her specialization. She's not fooling around with this thing, nor is she doing things unconsciously. She might have started out that way, but now sadism is her "gift" to this world, her legacy.                                                                                                                                                                                                         
                                                                     - SDG                                                              

Witches Have Blind Spots Too

She has no clue she is a bona fide sadist.
She thinks she is streetsmart and cute.

                                                                                             - SDG


Thursday, May 23, 2013

Witches cause burnout

So who should you eliminate from your life?

- The witch?
      OR
- The people she is actively removing from your support system?

                                                                                                          - SDG

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Master Of Arts

Study the witch in your spare time. It's an education.

                                                                      - SDG

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Witch pleeezzz

How many 3-way calls to "unsuspecting gullibles" before you call it quits?

                                                                       - SDG

Parking Lots & Witches

You'll find the witch's sidekicks in parking lots with cell phones often. Why?

                                                                       - SDG

True Love

Mind games are so simple once you figure them out....pssst....Witch's boss, I'm talking to you.

For the last 4 years the witch has been showing up her boss, not in the professional arena, but in the highly loaded field of "conjugal bliss".

She's a always taking things to work to show her boss, like kids will in a 'show and tell'.
Now who shows their boss, even if she is female, her lingerie that her husband bought for her, jewelry that her husband bought her, brochures to a couples' massage session, x rated photos from a vacation, notes from her mother-in-law, mother's day cards from her kids, love notes from an ex...

Every birthday, anniversary, and Valentine's day she receives at work a gorgeous bouquet just around lunch time. Then she accepts compliments as people pass by her desk on their way to lunch, gushing,"My husband spoils me too much."
The delivery man figured out she, not her husband, ordered and paid for them all and couldn't resist outing her so now we know her game.

We don't think her boss knows yet.


                                                                                   - SDG


Karaoke Time

Some one just pointed out the Witch hates those who sing 'coz she used to think she sang beautifully but really she can't carry a tune in a bucket. A couple of years ago they had a karaoke night where she bombed so bad a group of slightly drunk guys were laughing so hard hiding behind some potted plants and decor they knocked over a tikiman in the room making a huge mess. When the janitor had cleaned it all up they sang John Mellencamp's "Crumblin' Down" and dedicated it to her.

                                                                        - SDG

Witch's IQ Test

The Witch is most dissatisfied with her SAT scores, especially since the staff took IQ tests a few months ago, and she was at the bottom of the pile, except for her sidekick, who didn't take the test as she was sick that day.
Witch announced she is taking the GRE. 
She studied for a while and then she and her sidekick decided there was an easier way to find out exactly how smart they are without taking any tests whatsoever.
They have been tripping up every one on the team, showing them up, giggling all the while.
Now they're going for the big guns.
Every time they hoodwink a board member they go out for champagne.
Next week the team is doing a trust building exercise.
I wonder how that is going to pan out.
                  
                                                                                        - SDG

Friday, May 17, 2013

The Parable Of The Talents

Never forget the parable of the talents.

The witch, of course, will point out your flaws, real or imaginary, 24x7, but never mind that.

Multiply your talents.

The witch has no talents so she doesn't belong in this story. 

She only gets to play critic.

                                                                           - SDG

                                                                                                                






Thursday, May 16, 2013

Touchy Feely Witch

My neighbor has a cyst, well, just below the left collarbone.
Witch asked if she could touch it.
"No, it is personal," said my neighbor.
"Please, I want to," said the witch.
"I don't wish for you to touch me," said my neighbor.
Someone asked if the witch was a doctor.
Ha, she's an accountant.
Why didn't anybody ask if she is right in the head?

                                                                      - SDG

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

More Information Requested

Witch asked a neighbor's kid who paid for his Mom's new van, his Mom or his Dad.

Neighbor asked Witch who paid for her 3 a.m. breakfast last Sunday.


                                 
                                                                                                  - SDG

Neighborhood Newsflash

Witch asked one of the ladies exactly which companies she has applied to for a job.
Of course the witch was sweet and persuasive.
                                                                       - SDG

Just How Closely Does The Witch Watch This Community???

Witch met me at the gas station.
She didn't say hello, no how are you, no "nice weather today".
She wanted to know if I have talked to the neighbors this week, and about what.
Jussayin' , she is a few miles from normal, and getting very antsy that she's been figured out by the neighborhood.
                                                            - SDG
                                             


Witch Wants to Know The Exact Co-ordinates Of Where You Eat Sleep Poo



Now I've seen some bold people in my life, but I haven't seen a sociopath like her yet.
Her workplace allows her access to the security cameras so she's been watching who you talk to, eat lunch with, carpool with.
She has sent her advance party to ask exactly how close your relationship is with these people.
Do you babysit for each other, just meet at work, or what?
She seems to have instructed her minions to leave each of your friends with 2 pieces of information

    - you are dangerous
    - your friends will be contacted again in a week or less, this time  by her, in person

If any one is dangerous it is her, but you can never guess as she looks good, smells good, speaks in very loving tones, while mildly insulting your intelligence and grossly invading your personal space. If you let her, she will cut you off from every one who loves you. 

                                                          - SDG 

Witch Hates You And Your Loved Ones So Grow A Pair

Unnecessary drama comes from unnecessary damage to the psyche.
Unnecessary damage to the psyche comes from the unnecessary tampering of minds and lives.
Unnecessary tampering of minds and lives comes from an "unnecessary and invisible hand".
That "unnecessary and invisible hand" belongs to a sweet talking evil witch.
What is the witch to you???
Does she play "Dominant" to your "Submissive", or "Guru" to your "Chela", or "Best Friend" to your "Friend-in-need"???
                              
                                                                               -  SDG
        
                                                                                                                

Monday, May 13, 2013

BADI BHABHI - Episode IX



Guess who has the most amazing love story ever! Yes. It is BB. She met her husband in kindergarten, and on the first day of school her father-in-law decided one day she would be her daughter-in-law. She fell madly in love with her husband in the 5th standard but he was cavorting around with other girls. She prayed day and night, gayatri mantra, Hail Mary, namaaz, all 3, every day, and a guruji came to her in a dream and said,"Tumhara byah kisi aur se hone wala tha magar tumhara priyatam tumko mil gaya" on her 18th birthday. He called her from a cricket camp to wish her a happy birthday and proposed to her. They got married after he finished his PG and quit playing cricket full time. She says in a vision she saw her daughter as a newborn and then a few weeks later found out she was having a baby. Again in a vision, the morning before he passed away, a deceased relative, her husband's cousin tapped on her car window and asked for permission to take her husband with him."

They must have been soul mates. She begs to differ though but who knows. Human beings can only guess at such things. Any how, soul mates or not, it is quite a story.

After such a touching and beautiful romance how did the marriage go so wrong, I've been wondering since yesterday? I'm thinking it was a case of "buyer's remorse", especially on her part. She was a "sore winner" . She achieved her one and only goal, having flunked the medical entrance test 5 times, and then had no where to use her competitive and aggressive spirit so she turned it on full blast toward her own family. I have a couple of relatives like that so I know how destructive they can be. I wish they had had a happier life. Her daughters are nice, and from what I hear about him, their Dad was nice too. So marrying ones soul mate is not the answer to any body's troubles. A marriage is still a marriage. It takes love and patience and commitment and team spirit and basic common sense...all those good things, to make it work.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Save The King

If you have been endangered, and you seek help from an authority figure, and that authority figure at first offers assistance, then withdraws it saying,"Well, in a society like ours, this is to be expected," and becomes unreachable by phone, email, mail, and their underlings speak to you in a strangely rough voice uncharacteristic of them, that authority figure probably needs rescuing just as much as you do.
                                                                                       
                                                                                                   - SDG

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

MARKET WOES

In her youth the witch trades her youth for favors of all stripes.
As her youthfulness abandons her making a quick getaway she looks for the most marketable thing around her, and since she has no skills, and since objects are dearer to her heart than people she sells her spouse if he is market-worthy, kids if they don't rebel against her, friends if she can pay them their commission or just plain trick them into being sold while she collects a profit in any form dear to her.

                                                                                                          -  SDG

Sunday, May 5, 2013

GANDHARI

That should be the name given to all those who marry a witch, like a badge of honor.

                                                                                                                -  SDG

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Titration

The witch is much maligned by society and much eulogized by her spouse, always.
The poor thumb-sucking spouse is so ashamed of being tied to her, he tries to dilute her ignominy by his extreme exaltation of her.
It never works.
But that is beside the point.
She had one affair, he subsequently had three.
She smokes pot, he began to snort coke.
Her toy boy is twenty, his new plaything is eighteen.
She screamed at the household help, he beat him up.
He explains her bad behaviour away as a reaction to his own evil deeds.
How now, brown cow, was this not the case before she arrived on the scene?
He puts this piece of shit on his head hoping that will make it look like a crown of gold.
No one is fooled, because it stinks so bad, except he who has lived with the odor so long he can't sense it any more.
The higher he piles on the shit, the more convinced he is of his having convinced the world he is wearing a crown of gold, and the harder people laugh at him for being such a fool.
It takes no Archimedes to calculate the density of this crown to tell it isn't gold!
   
                                                                             - SDG                                                                                                                  

Friday, May 3, 2013

In The Cross Hairs In The Where ????


Like I said, don't be naive, keep an eye on the witch.

She's looking at you, in one way or another, even when you're taking a dump.

Don't ask me how the nuts and bolts of this system work. I have no clue.

All I know is she when you stayed over at her house last she reported to her sister you own a red bra with satin straps, you took a crap once before breakfast, once after lunch, your kids fought over the blue crayon, your husband is on medication for hives, your bedsheet had a stain on it, your husband invested in Home Depot stocks...

Get the picture?