Special place in Hell for this one?

The ex co-worker's birthday was on the 15th of April.
On the 14th of April, the witch arranged for someone to call the receptionist to call the the co-worker stating it was the co-worker's baby's daycare calling to say her baby had just been taken to the ER.
The co-worker rushed to the daycare, driving erratically, narrowly escaping death and traffic tickets, but getting there in one piece to find out to her great relief it was a miscommunication. No one had called for her.
When she returned she realized she had missed an important meeting.
Witch said sarcastically,"You should have called and checked first. You let us down. Don't expect a promotion this year. The boss is mad at you."

                                                                                                                        - SDG

The Witch Is The Chief Cause Of Economic Sluggishness

What did it cost to go through the process of framing the ex co-worker and ousting her?

What did it cost to hire and train the ex co-worker's replacement?

How much money and time would the organization have saved if the witch had been reprimanded and let go when she first began to isolate and harass the co-worker?

How much would the company have gained by keeping the ex co-worker who was the most competent employee at her level and was leadership material too?

                                                                                                                         - SDG

A Magician Never Reveals His Secrets

The witch called her ex-coworker's ex-boyfriend's unlisted phone number.
The once upon a stooge asked the witch how she tracked him down.
Witch said she found him in the phone book and smiled ever so sweetly.
                                                                                                                        - SDG

PTSD

Will it ever be possible for the witch's ex co-worker to regain the years she lost to PTSD?
Will she ever see the pillars of society as strong proof of goodness in mankind?
Will she stop stuttering at job interviews?
For how many more years will she want to scream every time she hears the name _____ ?
Can she ever see a blessing as a blessing again, and not as a curse disguised as a blessing?
Are there enough good and patient folks on this planet who will understand her panic attacks every time she sees a bottle of prescription medicine and assure her all will be well again?



                                                                                                                                               - SDG

The Canary In The Mineshaft

Watch the witch's spouse and kids carefully.
A least 1 or 2 of them act as the canary in the mineshaft.
If someone is passing out ... don't just stand there ... HELP!

                                                                                                            - SDG

The Happiest Cannibal

She tricked out her itty-bitty little black dress with her huge 14 mm pearls, completely uncalled for at a status report meeting, ugly shoes, and you can almost see a cute little black pillbox hat on that fresh coiff. Wonder who she's burying today. She is the cheeziest, scurviest pall bearer at every death she orchestrates. Ya, you know the type.

                                                                                                                       -  SDG

Snakes and Ladders

Having gotten rid of the most hard-working, most competent, most trustworthy co-worker, the witch has begun to build a bonfire under her boss' chair.
                                                                                                                           - SDG

Note to Mrs. Witch's Boss

Yo, Mrs. Witch's Boss, Nice to connect with you. I hear you are a very smart and very dignified individual.
I hear you've been busy dismantling nuclear warheads at your desk 8-7 every day.
Look under your chair will ya.
The witch left you a little gift there.
It was meant to be a surprise.
Handle with care.
Proceed with caution.
It is a crude bomb, something you might not even recognize since your expertise is in the fields of dismantling nuclear warheads, and of bringing about peace.
You're sharp. You'll figure out the circuitry soon enough.
Disengage a stick of dynamite and give it to the witch will ya.
Sooner or later she will put it where it belongs and blast herself off to which ever universe she came from.
She can't help but do that.

                                                                                                               - SDG

" I want to be you "

When at first the witch begins to want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, understand she is trying to become you.
She can only do that by swallowing you whole and then stealing your identity.
She will cut you off from your friends and tell you she is the only one who cares about you.
Once isolation has been achieved, you will be plucked and primed and quartered and marinated for cooking.
Once cooked, she eats you up.
She burps,"You are what you eat."
                                                                                                        - SDG

Poetic Justice

Years of association with the witch has turned her once upon a stooge into a prophet.
I am not allowed to share the exact nature of the witch's grief, but I hear she suffers, so those who think justice wasn't served can relax knowing justice shows up in many different forms.
                                                                                                                     - SDG

Defection

The witch's once upon a stooge came bearing gifts and a message from her, that she is very "fond"of me and that she should like me to have this gift basket.
Her once upon a stooge said,"I believe you asked her about her shenanigans past?"
"Yup," I said.
"You might want to know she planted prescriptions in her co-worker's desk, got her removed, fucked this weirdo, and got a posting in a different department."
"OMG, that happens in real life??!!!
I thought it was something one only saw on T.V.
This is creeping me out."
"Yeah, you need to know."
Witches have no friends, only allies who eventually desert them, or end up dead once they figure out who the witch really is.
I have a distinct recollection from a couple of years ago when she called me and said,"hehehehehe you know, bad people have very good lives. Hahahaha they get away with murder. You should be bad Sonali. You are just like my Mom. She was sooooo good. And she suffered all her life. hehehehehehe"

Okay people, if I eat the candy from this basket and keel over, you know who did it.

                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                                          - SDG

Covering Her Tracks Like A Pro

The witch's past evil deeds came back to bite her in the butt.
I asked her,"What's going on?"
She looked sweet and innocent and completely guileless and asked in her sweeter than honey mixed with sugar voice, while batting her eyelashes,"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Oh, come on," I said,"you know exactly what I want to discuss with you."
"I have no clue what or who you are talking about. Lovely shirt you are wearing. The color really brings out the sparkle in your eyes. Where did you buy it? I am fasting today so I am feeling very weak. I need to go lie down, then I attend the prayer meeting."

                                                                                                                                 - SDG

                                                                                                                                                           

The Brahmin Bordello

Eugenics has a new proponent.
She runs a bordello and has developed a long list of exclusively brahmin clientel.
Her "women of the night", however, are not all brahmin.
She caters to men's taste for the forbidden and the exotic, so there are little boys, little girls, the animals, the aboriginals, the outcasts, the maimed, the aged, all chattel to her, in addition to her line up of brahmin wombs.
She hopes to breed the perfect brahmin heir to her bordello.
Her favorite client is shooting blanks so she's looking for a new and viable brahmin donor.
It is time to set the sex slaves free.
But they know nothing and have nothing beyond this life.
Rehabilitation will be a long ordeal for them.
Will the good people on this planet please do something gutsy for once and not quit halfway.

                                                                                                                         - SDG

Witch Wisdom

Found this on Facebook.
Probably the words of a witch.
They make sense at some level.

The Sanctity Of Marriage

Witches are forever pontificating on the sanctity of the traditional marriage.

They put forth their marriage as an example of the perfect traditional marriage.

tsk, tsk, at the last census, there were 7 in that marriage, 4 male, 3 female.

You do the math.

                                                                                                           -  SDG

♫... and a JayZ song is on ...♫

I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one.
                                                                                 - SDG

wallpaper witch! - W.I.T.C.H. Wallpaper (9926356) - Fanpop fanclubswww.fanpop.com

Skeletons In The Closet

I have not had occasion to visit the Witch since I don't know when, let's say a very long time, 20 yrs maybe, so this isn't a first hand account.
Friends report there is a wardrobe in her guest quarters.
She leads guests into the guest room, upto the wardrobe, and while chitchatting about the rising cost of vegetables, she "accidentally" unlatches the door and surreptitiously pushes a door until it swings past her guests, and they are shown 4 hanging bath robes, that say in large golden letters, "JON", "PIMP", "PROSTITUTE", "JAIL BAIT".
She looks at you with a naughty smile and says "Sor-ry" as she quickly shuts the door.
She's coy the first two times you ask her about it.

If you smile, she'll hand you a robe, or two, and a brochure.
She won't tell you of course that there is a hidden camera in the room.
And if you were to walk around to the backyard, she has a sprawling vegetable garden where several maids plant and water and weed and harvest.
She'll point each one out to you and tell you which one is in menses, who is suffering from morning sickness, who just started working here and if she is untouched.
                                                                                                                                 - SDG

All In The Family

The Witch says she is exhausted playing nursemaid.
There are two sick men under her roof, her Dad and her brother-in-law.
Her sister just had a baby, and could not come visit, but her husband came alone to visit for a week.
Her Dad is also visiting from out of town.
Since the Witch's husband was away at work, her Dad and her BIL asked her to drop them off downtown and they would explore the city on their own.
They came home a little drunk that night but now, 3 days later, both are covered in unsightly sores.
The doctor has prescribed penicillin.
She says she hates staying home all day caring for them while they both discuss Rohini, her maid.
It's like she, while being daughter and SIL, has become invisible.
Her own Dad and her own BIL no longer even see her.
They only have eyes and ears for Rohini.
"It's like Rohini owns the place and not me. I wish I could kill them all," says the Witch.
But the Witch is worried she'll have to cook if the maid gets sick or dies,
so she gives Rohini some of the penicillin every day as a preventative she says.

                                                                                                                       - SDG

A Scene Out Of A Hitchcock Movie

Twice the Witch has visited her sister, and both times there was a heap of dead birds in her sister's yard while she was there.
Five times the Witch has visited her brother and five times his dog has died, often a young and healthy puppy.
Creeepy coincidence?
Any body out there who knows how to save the birdies and the pooches?
                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                  - SDG

Pay It Forward, Witch-style

Every time the Witch is unhappy with her lot in life, she looks for some one happy, and ruins their life.
                                                                                                           -  SDG

The Lure Of The Golden Circles

The Witch says she only dates men who are married or engaged.
We asked her why.
"They think they have found perfection, and then they meet me. Tell me where is any man going to find any one better than me?" asked the Witch.
"O-kay," we said,"but there are many single men to choose from, so why don't you keep things simple. You hurt no other woman and her children, and if you really like each other you just get married."
She looked at me like I might be an idiot and said,"I don't want to get married right now. I just want that bastard (her ex who was a married man) to know there is no one better than me. Look at how many men and their wives and their children and their parents and their friends and neighbors all believe I am better than all those married women. Here I am, no wedding band on my ring finger. I should have had one 8 years ago."

**********************************************************************************

I think she needs a shrink, not a date and a drink.

                                                                                                        - SDG

The Medium Is The Message

Just how naive are you Mr. Gullible ??
You trusted the witch to convey an important message to a VIP ??!!
Well, as you should have been able to predict, your message reached its intended recipient as a wet fart.
     

                                                                                                            - SDG