HELL

Witches and their significant others have a very complicated value system when it comes to family, children, and sexuality.

- Homoerotic behaviour is normal as long as they are the only people engaging in it. The same goes for bestiality, orgies, blood rituals etc

- Pedophilia is normal too, as long as it is only them and their best friends engaging in it, never mind who the victims might, since the belief is that it is normal.

- When a son comes of age, or a son-in-law visits, or a nephew is in town, or an old friend stays over, a maid is sent to his room when the lights are turned out to ask if he needs anything. Seriously, how can anybody help you while groping in the dark? Should he say he's okay and needs no help he is mocked for the rest of his life as "impotent".

- If a daughter visits and she has a child, the child is given a gold necklace. Books and toys carry no meaning in their world. Gold, little boys, women, land is what they kill for.

- If a neighbor visits, and the neighbor visits with her two adorable brats, she is asked "How do you manage TWO children? One is too many. Life must be a living hell for you all. Poor you."

- Should someone cross their paths who has six children they are told they are traitors to the country and that they should buy 8 one way tickets to Pakistan.

- When the family of 8 goes back to their home the witch and her husband announce the water works department needs to mix something in their water that sterilizes all who drink that water.

- They invite a colleague to dinner and inform him he looks like their daschsund. That story is like a shot heard around the world but they are deaf to all feedback.

- If a sister visits she might be allowed at first into the home but is offered nimbu pani laced with laxatives. If she insists on coming back she might get beaten up at the gate. Should she continue to be respectful and welcoming toward her brother they'll go over to her place and beat her up. When the sister forgives and forgets they'll tell her husband to beat her up. What they are really trying to do is impress you with their capacity for violence, begging for acknowledgement of their muscle power. If their violence is ignored, it'll follow you around until you compliment them for it.

- What price would you pay to enter this hell? It is asked for in cash and kind.

- The password to the gates to Hell is "mardon ki yehi toh shaan hai".