My Staff Is Bigger Than Your Staff (sic)

RING RING

NRI obsessed witch,"My staff is threatening to go on leave."

Me,"Bataayaa nahin tumne. When did you start working?"

"Woh Ghanshyam subeh ka khana banaataa hai, woh 3 maheene jaa raha hai, beti ki shaadi karne. Motilal hai, almaari mein kapde rakhta hai. Uski maa beemaar hai. Sohan bhi kehe raha hai bhai ki shaadi hai. Just imagine, 3 out of 10 servants will be gone. Mai kya karoongi?"

"Baki saat hain na. Sambhaal lenge. Tum chintaa na karo."

"Badi mushkil se dus jamaa kiye hain meine. Sab poochte rehete hain itne aadmi kahan se laaye. Main apni secret kyon bataaoon. Sab ko chahiyen dus ardali."

"Haan kaafi mehenat lagti hai dus ardali jamaa karne mein."

"I have to go, 3 out of 10 staff are going on vacation. Let me get some things done before they leave."

 "Take care. Bye."

                                                                                                                                 - SDG                                                                                                                                                    

NRI Aao Na

Ek saptah baad ...

NRI mania waali,"Sonali tum bhi aao na. Woh toh gayee. Tumhare jaise din bhar bachchon ka kaam karti reheti hai, khana banaati hai, bachchon ko padhati hai, woh bilkul change ho gayee hai. Woh bindaas ladki thi, kabhi nahin padhti thi. Ab dekho usko."

"Log badalte hain responsibility ke saath."

"Tum bhi aao. Tum Americans bade serious hote ja rahe ho. Come on yaar, have some fun, screw around for 2 weeks, we'll discuss the details over a couple of whiskeys."

"I'll come sometime. I want to show the kids Bheembetka, and old the touristy spots of Pachmari. Whiskey mere bas ki baat nahin. Aam ka panaa chalega."

"You are so boring. Have fun yaar. Pataa maine kya kiya, meri friend IAS mein hai, uski government ki international plan hai, Manhattan ka phone ghumaayaa. Uski mummy ne uthaayaa. Phir se lagaya, woh nahin uthaayaa."

"Phir kya hua."

"I can't call him any more. My friend got so scared she got diarrhea after I used her phone. She is refusing to let me borrow her phone. He is not responding to my mails. Kya karoon? I'm lost. And my husband is kicked."

"That is interesting."

"See it opens up so many possibilities."

"Hmmmm.....I get it."



                                                                                                                       - SDG


                                                                                           

Bachpan Ke Saathi

Yeh NRI mania wali ne phone kiya,"Sonaliiiiiiii......kya aafat aa gayee hai. America se land hui, hamaare yahan aayee hai. Itne plunging necklines pehen rahi hai. Sirf mere husband ki baat hoti, I would let him get his kicks. Lekin tumhe toh pata hai, mere yahan 10 ardali hain male, woh bhi dekh rahen hain, maze le rahen hain. Ek hafte ke liye aayee hai, bus 4 din aur, phir chalee jayegi. Yeh Americans bhi naa!"

Bulaya tumhine tha, bheekh maange, "Ek raat, bus ek raat hamare yahan ruko." Ab dekho woh kya keheti hai tumhare baare mein. Woh seedhee hai. Kuch nahin kahegi. Tumne yeh samajh rakhaa hai ki usko kabhi nahin pataa chalega, haan?



                                                                                                                          - SDG

NRI mania

Is desi witch ko NRI obsession ho gayee hai.
Ek raat, bus ek raat bhi koi NRI uske ghar ruke, woh phooli nahin samaati hai.
Bus phir kaheen dekh liya kisi NRI ko chipak jaati hai,"Aaonaa, ek raat raho hamaare yahaan."


How stupid is that?

                                                                                                                           - SDG

teesri line, phir chauthi

Witches apni team to phone lines pe nachaati hain.
Ek din woh phir dhadd se gir jaati hain.

                                                                                                                          - SDG
                   

                                                                                                    
                 



                                           

WHEN IN ROME

The Witch stuck her hand in the lion's mouth,  a particular lion's mouth, one she had previously declawed, defanged, then disemboweled, and said,"See, I wasn't lying."
Her eyes gave her away.
                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                    - SDG

"Othering" and the spoils of war

Witches masterfully channel the natural aggression in all living creatures to help subdue anyone they don't like, a man, a woman, a child, any one.
A bogeyman is constructed.

Propaganda follows.
Cruelty ensues.
Then there are repercussions.
The witch collects the spoils of war.



                                                                                                          - SDG

Liar Liar

Um, that awkward moment when a liar gets caught with her pants on fire.

                                                                                                                               - SDG

Silly Goose

Any goose that lays golden eggs is ALWAYS to be found safely tucked under a witch's arm, with its shoelaces tied together.

                                                                                                                             -  SDG

A Bump In The Road, Followed By Fresh Air, Followed By Murderous Rage

As is the custom for the witch and her spouse, the witch was walking 2 steps ahead of her husband, he was bringing up the rear, bent over, his head a good foot up her arse, when they hit a bump in the road.

That dislodged his head from the cavernous dark tight spot it had been stuck in for years and for the first time in years he felt the rush of cool fresh air on his face and he inhaled deeply.

Ugghhh, he realized his face was covered in poop.

He just wanted to kill that bump in the road.

                                                                                                           -  SDG