Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Witch Dodging Bullets?
So have you done your good deed for the day and held a witch accountable for her unconscionable actions?
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Saturday, October 17, 2015
SURPRISING CAPABILITIES
Witches
are amazing as "reducing agents".
Show them the Taj Mahal, they'll say it is just another tomb, show them a Vyjayanthimala and she's to them just a nachni, a Kishoritai, another gaanewaali, a doting mother, a bachche sambhalnewaali, a good cook, a chammach hilaane waali, Oprah Winfrey, a kallu lady, Taylor Swift, a stupid girl who can't sing and Kanye West said so too, Aishwarya Rai, the cold, has been, Bachchan bahu.
How do they do it ???
I'm dumbstruck with awe when I see greatness and they bring down the Taj in a second or two with one derogatory phrase like that !
Perhaps that is talent too.
Show them the Taj Mahal, they'll say it is just another tomb, show them a Vyjayanthimala and she's to them just a nachni, a Kishoritai, another gaanewaali, a doting mother, a bachche sambhalnewaali, a good cook, a chammach hilaane waali, Oprah Winfrey, a kallu lady, Taylor Swift, a stupid girl who can't sing and Kanye West said so too, Aishwarya Rai, the cold, has been, Bachchan bahu.
How do they do it ???
I'm dumbstruck with awe when I see greatness and they bring down the Taj in a second or two with one derogatory phrase like that !
Perhaps that is talent too.
Friday, October 16, 2015
Mixed Up Sleeping Arrangements
The witch moved out of the master bedroom and into the guest room saying she was "having problems with her husband".
The kids were then 4 and 7, a boy and a girl.
The little boy, 4, would want to sleep with Mommy every time he had a nightmare, which was every night, and so he would come to the guest room every night at 9 or so and sleep there with her. The little girl would feel left out and would join them too. At 2 a.m. the husband would wander in, pick up the little girl, put her down on the bed in the master bedroom, as he "hated to sleep alone."
10 years have passed by and this remain their routine.
The witch tells everybody she meets she has such a beautiful relationship with her husband because they have separate bedrooms, and encourages every one to live exactly the same way. "Rajah Rani sab aise he rehetein hain. Koi apne pati ke saath nahin sota hai."
She laugh and laughs at any one going through a rough patch in their marriage.
Hurting kids is even funnier to her.
The husband seems like a decent soul, so no worries, I hope.
Looks are deceptive, so there are no guarantees in life.
The husband his his own circle of friends and prefers to attend social functions without her.
The witch is often spotted hanging out with fools or crooks...
- SDG
The kids were then 4 and 7, a boy and a girl.
The little boy, 4, would want to sleep with Mommy every time he had a nightmare, which was every night, and so he would come to the guest room every night at 9 or so and sleep there with her. The little girl would feel left out and would join them too. At 2 a.m. the husband would wander in, pick up the little girl, put her down on the bed in the master bedroom, as he "hated to sleep alone."
10 years have passed by and this remain their routine.
The witch tells everybody she meets she has such a beautiful relationship with her husband because they have separate bedrooms, and encourages every one to live exactly the same way. "Rajah Rani sab aise he rehetein hain. Koi apne pati ke saath nahin sota hai."
She laugh and laughs at any one going through a rough patch in their marriage.
Hurting kids is even funnier to her.
The husband seems like a decent soul, so no worries, I hope.
Looks are deceptive, so there are no guarantees in life.
The husband his his own circle of friends and prefers to attend social functions without her.
The witch is often spotted hanging out with fools or crooks...
- SDG
Month one was great. They were with her parents. Met all their relatives. Month two started out fine but the girl got majorly sick week 3 and stayed another 2 weeks to recover while her husband returned to work. This girl, 27 at the time, had never had one health issue all her life, and now she had every gynecological problem in the book and out of it. It wasn't so bad she couldn't work but it did have a terrible emotional impact on her as they wanted to start a family. Her gynecologist, in passing, suggested her husband needed to be tested for 'infections' . There was lots of crying on her part, protestations of complete faithfulness oh his part, and testing. He was clear. Over a period of time the doc started asking her questions only her grandma would have thought to ask - Do you have enemies? Did any body ask you too many questions about your marriage? Do all the women in your family have kids? Has any other woman in your family experienced troubles of a similar nature? Then it hit her. Every one of her SILs has a story like this, with minor variations. I'm happy she she is safe. It has been a few years now. She recovered, just had twins, and mother and babies are doing well. |
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Witch,"Americans are the stupidest people in the world."
Witch called me with the greeting,"Americans think they are the mostest and bestest people in the world. They are the weakest people in the world. Look, they got kicked out of Vietnam, then Iraq and Afghanistan. You are the stupidest people in the world."
Me,"(confused silence)".
It was my birthday, so I was expecting to be greeted with a "Happy Birthday", which never happened. Instead, for the umpteeth time, I was being criticized and laughed at for being "a stupid American".
I was stupid enough to ask,"Have you been watching the Olympics over the years? The Americans win all the time."(I had been busy researching the Olympics for a writing project so it was the uppermost thing on my mind.)
Witch,"Have you lost any weight?"
Me,"No, I've gotten fatter."
Witch,"Ha ha ha ha ha. When are you coming to India."
Me,"In a couple of years."
Witch,"That is too far away. Come now. Ticket ke paise bhejoon?"
Me,"No."
Witch,"Now days there is Skype. Use Skype."
Me,"I don't wanna. You know I've asked this stop now."
Witch,"We can't do anything in India. Tell the police there."
Me,"Ok."
******************************************
ONE WEEK LATER
Me,"You told me to report it, so I did."
Witch,"Ya ya, your American police is so smart, they will find out everything. Nobody is going to believe you."
Me,"Ha ha ha ha ."
Witch hung up real quick.
Me,"(confused silence)".
It was my birthday, so I was expecting to be greeted with a "Happy Birthday", which never happened. Instead, for the umpteeth time, I was being criticized and laughed at for being "a stupid American".
I was stupid enough to ask,"Have you been watching the Olympics over the years? The Americans win all the time."(I had been busy researching the Olympics for a writing project so it was the uppermost thing on my mind.)
Witch,"Have you lost any weight?"
Me,"No, I've gotten fatter."
Witch,"Ha ha ha ha ha. When are you coming to India."
Me,"In a couple of years."
Witch,"That is too far away. Come now. Ticket ke paise bhejoon?"
Me,"No."
Witch,"Now days there is Skype. Use Skype."
Me,"I don't wanna. You know I've asked this stop now."
Witch,"We can't do anything in India. Tell the police there."
Me,"Ok."
******************************************
ONE WEEK LATER
Me,"You told me to report it, so I did."
Witch,"Ya ya, your American police is so smart, they will find out everything. Nobody is going to believe you."
Me,"Ha ha ha ha ."
Witch hung up real quick.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
Talent Acquistion
The witch owns and operates a widget factory.
She employs a driller, a custodian, a delivery boy, 3 women on the assembly line, and one driver.
That all looks legit until you look a little closer.
The delivery boy does her grocery shopping and sweeps the floors.
The driver is her husband's masseuse, and he cooks all their meals.
The driller packs and ships the widgets.
The custodian is their IT guy.
And one has to wonder how 3 women can man an entire assembly line and make the company a profit.
The couple call themselves "industrialists".
This has been going on for years.
- SDG
She employs a driller, a custodian, a delivery boy, 3 women on the assembly line, and one driver.
That all looks legit until you look a little closer.
The delivery boy does her grocery shopping and sweeps the floors.
The driver is her husband's masseuse, and he cooks all their meals.
The driller packs and ships the widgets.
The custodian is their IT guy.
And one has to wonder how 3 women can man an entire assembly line and make the company a profit.
The couple call themselves "industrialists".
This has been going on for years.
- SDG
Sunday, January 11, 2015
When You're Under Surveillance by The Coven ...
Funny things happen when the coven is 'watching you'.
They respond to 'messages' you never send them,
mention incidents that happen 10,000 miles away from them,
and they know what you were wearing yesterday,
and you haven't met them in years.
The telephone is a witch's best friend.
Why do they spend all this time and energy watching someone ?
- SDG
They respond to 'messages' you never send them,
mention incidents that happen 10,000 miles away from them,
and they know what you were wearing yesterday,
and you haven't met them in years.
The telephone is a witch's best friend.
Why do they spend all this time and energy watching someone ?
- SDG
Saturday, January 10, 2015
The Most Common Witch-isms
You can call anybody fat, lazy, or stupid and get away with it, for a while,
since, really, what are the parameters here?
A witch will always call you those three things, and add "liar" to the list,
just in case you stand up for yourself and contradict the witch.
- SDG
since, really, what are the parameters here?
A witch will always call you those three things, and add "liar" to the list,
just in case you stand up for yourself and contradict the witch.
- SDG
Friday, January 9, 2015
Caduceus
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| http://bansheearts.com/portfolio-items/caduceus/ |
The Caduceus is the symbol of the healing arts worldwide.
Tiresias is rumored to have gone blind for having watched a couple of snakes mating, and of having been turned into a hermaphrodite who could foretell the future.
I like to think of it as a happier event.
It refers perhaps to that moment post a mid-life crisis when you realize you are complete, that you have wings, that you are healed, and that you have control over how your life turns out.
Let no witch tell you any different, for witches gain much power in this world by posturing as the only known charmer of snakes, who can gaze at a crystal ball and tell you you are doomed and that it is all your fault, and that you brought it on yourself, that it is only fair in God's world that you must suffer to pay for your imaginary sins, like being genetically deformed because blah blah blah blah .....
- SDG
Monday, January 5, 2015
"You Catch More Flies With Sugar," She Said
The witch is in the unabashed business of catching flies.
No, not the winged variety.
She's talking about the little scrap of fabric that makes a man modest in modern society.
She is like that witch from the Grimms' fairy tales that owned a house made of sugar.
Hansel and Gretel were held hostage there.
Gretel had to sweep and mop and cook all day.
Hansel was being fattened for a roast to remember.
Returning now to this particular story of this particular witch,
she has opened a tiny eating place in the red light district where she used to ply her trade.
She serves exotic meats and very expensive desserts.
The menu reads as follows -
She got no milk or she'd sell it for 40p she says.
Her sister is a fifth of her worth she says.
The neighbors say they aren't sisters really.
The witch is a byproduct of her mother's liason with the butcher they say.
That's how she has returned to what is in her genes,
selling goods produced on an animal farm, they say.
Now that you think about it, she looks nothing like her sisters at all.
- SDG
No, not the winged variety.
She's talking about the little scrap of fabric that makes a man modest in modern society.
She is like that witch from the Grimms' fairy tales that owned a house made of sugar.
Hansel and Gretel were held hostage there.
Gretel had to sweep and mop and cook all day.
Hansel was being fattened for a roast to remember.
Returning now to this particular story of this particular witch,
she has opened a tiny eating place in the red light district where she used to ply her trade.
She serves exotic meats and very expensive desserts.
The menu reads as follows -
donkey bollox ............... 10p
monkey bollox .............. 11p
neanderthal bollox ........ 13p
gelding bollox ............... 25p
boy bollox ..................... 29p
14 yr old boy bollox ...... 75p
married man bollox ....... 15p
widower bollox ..............12p
bisexual bollox ...............40p
gay bollox .......................39p
mermaid milk ice cream ...........90p
whore milk ice cream ...............20p
her sister's ice cream ................. 8p
orphanage wet nurse ice cream 16p
She got no milk or she'd sell it for 40p she says.
Her sister is a fifth of her worth she says.
The neighbors say they aren't sisters really.
The witch is a byproduct of her mother's liason with the butcher they say.
That's how she has returned to what is in her genes,
selling goods produced on an animal farm, they say.
Now that you think about it, she looks nothing like her sisters at all.
- SDG
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Wanderlust
What is it with heroes and their years of wandering through the world?
Not all journeys were made by choice.
Sometimes it was an exile of sorts.
Moses, Alexander, Odysseus, Hercules, and all the rest of them ....
While wandering, there were witches they had to contend with.
Some were obviously evil, like Medusa.
Some were sirens.
Some were mythic creatures, bugaboos of the mind.
I do believe I know a couple of guys who are currently stranded on the isle of the Amazons,
one stuck in endless negotiations with Circe,
another dealing with Mantara's forays into his village,
one charmed out of his wits by a mermaid,
one turned to stone by a Medusa.
Round trips around the globe come at a steep, steep price.
- SDG
Not all journeys were made by choice.
Sometimes it was an exile of sorts.
Moses, Alexander, Odysseus, Hercules, and all the rest of them ....
While wandering, there were witches they had to contend with.
Some were obviously evil, like Medusa.
Some were sirens.
Some were mythic creatures, bugaboos of the mind.
I do believe I know a couple of guys who are currently stranded on the isle of the Amazons,
one stuck in endless negotiations with Circe,
another dealing with Mantara's forays into his village,
one charmed out of his wits by a mermaid,
one turned to stone by a Medusa.
Round trips around the globe come at a steep, steep price.
- SDG
Saturday, January 3, 2015
A Life of Abject Poverty
We all agreed upon this earlier today, that we've never seen any man quite as hungry for the feminine as is the witch's husband.
He's not your average jerk trying to screw every woman he sees. This man is hungry for female company. He's just the kind of guy who would create a fake Match.com account, take his quarries out to a romantic getaway for two, and then disappear. There are two types of men who do this, those who are looking for a steady stream of new bodies to copulate with, and the ones who seek an understanding of themselves through a pair of feminine eyes. It's the age ole "snake-eyes" vs "doe-eyes" situation he's stuck in.
Early in life he watched the delicate fawn does being devoured by snakes so he settled for a snake, just to keep from having to guard his home and offspring, little realizing he was going to end up in the belly of the beast while believing he was living in his comfort zone.
At the time when he picked the snake for a companion there were hidden payoffs in that decision he had hoped would stay hidden forever. But Time shows no mercy, not to kings, and not to beggars. The whole world knows his deepest darkest secrets, those that he's built several layers of myths around in an effort to guard them. So now he tells blatant lies in an effort to cover the telltale signs of the far from desirable reality of his existence. If only he knew that most of the world is also sweating profusely under several layers of masks and disguises! But when is he ever going to arrive at that realization? The snake has him charmed into believing the worst about himself, while mistakenly believing the lies she tells him of her infinite superiority over him.
So what we have here now is a pathological liar with a closet full of floozy undies and a body or two, the bad boy who deserves a whipping behind the woodshed every other week.
Little does he realize he is the goose that lays the golden eggs, for all this while he's imagined himself a grander gander.
There is a strange kind of poverty in the shadow of the house on a leafy boulevard in the shining city upon a hill. The freshly painted white picket fence, the two beamers, those golden eggs he's laid are just ghostly reminders to him that he has no home, he has no vehicle, and he has no gold. He has been left emaciated in this paradoxical shadow land of death and barren bones he's been banished to. It is the paucity of all things deemed feminine.
He has gone emotionally bankrupt and lost the ownership of himself.
So he has a begging bowl before him, as he wanders through life, begging for alms in femininity, in the scraps of which he hopes to reclaim his identity.
I hope he knows there is a veld beyond wrongdoing and rightdoing where the two halves of your psyche meet and lay down in the grass, and the world is too full to talk about. This is where the yin and the yang within meet and merge and delight in one another and the world is verdant again, and you are rich once more.
As a footnote may I add that this story is truer for women than it is for men. If you can transpose the details to fit the details of a story with a female protagonist in it you'll see how this works for women who have unwittingly ended up banished to barren lands in the shadows of their own homes. I have made a commitment to call my blog "Witchipaedia" so my villain, unfortunately, is always an ugly witch.
- SDG
He's not your average jerk trying to screw every woman he sees. This man is hungry for female company. He's just the kind of guy who would create a fake Match.com account, take his quarries out to a romantic getaway for two, and then disappear. There are two types of men who do this, those who are looking for a steady stream of new bodies to copulate with, and the ones who seek an understanding of themselves through a pair of feminine eyes. It's the age ole "snake-eyes" vs "doe-eyes" situation he's stuck in.
Early in life he watched the delicate fawn does being devoured by snakes so he settled for a snake, just to keep from having to guard his home and offspring, little realizing he was going to end up in the belly of the beast while believing he was living in his comfort zone.
At the time when he picked the snake for a companion there were hidden payoffs in that decision he had hoped would stay hidden forever. But Time shows no mercy, not to kings, and not to beggars. The whole world knows his deepest darkest secrets, those that he's built several layers of myths around in an effort to guard them. So now he tells blatant lies in an effort to cover the telltale signs of the far from desirable reality of his existence. If only he knew that most of the world is also sweating profusely under several layers of masks and disguises! But when is he ever going to arrive at that realization? The snake has him charmed into believing the worst about himself, while mistakenly believing the lies she tells him of her infinite superiority over him.
So what we have here now is a pathological liar with a closet full of floozy undies and a body or two, the bad boy who deserves a whipping behind the woodshed every other week.
Little does he realize he is the goose that lays the golden eggs, for all this while he's imagined himself a grander gander.
There is a strange kind of poverty in the shadow of the house on a leafy boulevard in the shining city upon a hill. The freshly painted white picket fence, the two beamers, those golden eggs he's laid are just ghostly reminders to him that he has no home, he has no vehicle, and he has no gold. He has been left emaciated in this paradoxical shadow land of death and barren bones he's been banished to. It is the paucity of all things deemed feminine.
He has gone emotionally bankrupt and lost the ownership of himself.
So he has a begging bowl before him, as he wanders through life, begging for alms in femininity, in the scraps of which he hopes to reclaim his identity.
I hope he knows there is a veld beyond wrongdoing and rightdoing where the two halves of your psyche meet and lay down in the grass, and the world is too full to talk about. This is where the yin and the yang within meet and merge and delight in one another and the world is verdant again, and you are rich once more.
As a footnote may I add that this story is truer for women than it is for men. If you can transpose the details to fit the details of a story with a female protagonist in it you'll see how this works for women who have unwittingly ended up banished to barren lands in the shadows of their own homes. I have made a commitment to call my blog "Witchipaedia" so my villain, unfortunately, is always an ugly witch.
- SDG
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Thursday, January 1, 2015
HNY
May the wicked become good
May the good attain peace
May the peaceful become free from bonds
May the freed set others free
--Sanskrit prayer
Happy New Year!
May the good attain peace
May the peaceful become free from bonds
May the freed set others free
--Sanskrit prayer
Happy New Year!
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