Witch called me with the greeting,"Americans think they are the mostest and bestest people in the world. They are the weakest people in the world. Look, they got kicked out of Vietnam, then Iraq and Afghanistan. You are the stupidest people in the world."
Me,"(confused silence)".
It was my birthday, so I was expecting to be greeted with a "Happy Birthday", which never happened. Instead, for the umpteeth time, I was being criticized and laughed at for being "a stupid American".
I was stupid enough to ask,"Have you been watching the Olympics over the years? The Americans win all the time."(I had been busy researching the Olympics for a writing project so it was the uppermost thing on my mind.)
Witch,"Have you lost any weight?"
Me,"No, I've gotten fatter."
Witch,"Ha ha ha ha ha. When are you coming to India."
Me,"In a couple of years."
Witch,"That is too far away. Come now. Ticket ke paise bhejoon?"
Me,"No."
Witch,"Now days there is Skype. Use Skype."
Me,"I don't wanna. You know I've asked this stop now."
Witch,"We can't do anything in India. Tell the police there."
Me,"Ok."
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ONE WEEK LATER
Me,"You told me to report it, so I did."
Witch,"Ya ya, your American police is so smart, they will find out everything. Nobody is going to believe you."
Me,"Ha ha ha ha ."
Witch hung up real quick.
